excerpt.

I’ve been spending a lot of time writing my “book.” There is so much I want to say that it has been really hard for me to get it on type. Lately I have been struggling with a lot of different emotions, but I am also surrounded by such positivity that it is hard to stay down for too long.

I did manage to write about one of the single most happy and liberating days of my life. Here it is:

————————————————————————

“Andrew, can you come into my office for our 10 o’clock.”

I was sure that those were going to be the final words of my boss to me before my termination.

It was Wednesday morning, right in the middle of the work week. Earlier that week my immediate supervisor had told me that we were going to have a meeting with the head boss. I remembered reading somewhere that people only get fired on Fridays, so I thought nothing of it.

As I walked slowly to my boss’ office around the corner from mine, my mind started to race like crazy for some reason. Was I in trouble? Did I do something wrong? Were they finally smart enough to go through my internet browsing records? I knew I shouldn’t have clicked on that NSFW link off Digg. Even though I hated my work, it still would have sucked to be reprimanded or even fired for doing something idiotic while on the job.

The twenty foot walk to my boss’ office seemed longer than an eternity. I had so many things mulling around in my head that I started to perspire. The red polo and khaki pants that I always wore to blend in with my office environment was starting to stick to my skin. I passed by a majority of my co-workers’ offices on the way to my meeting; most of whom I loathed. How did it even get to this point? I’m about to get fired from a job that I should have quit months ago.

When I got to her office, my supervisor was already there, sitting there solemnly next to the big boss. “Go ahead and shut the door behind you, Andrew,” she said as she motioned for me to sit down. My chair was on the other side of the table, facing both of my superiors. I took my seat while trying to analyze the whole situation. I spotted some reports and paperwork piled on the table in front of them. Those are probably my internet records, I thought to myself.

Before I had a chance to figure out what they were, my boss opened up her mouth. “As you know, our company has been facing some huge budget cuts.” She paused for a bit, as if doing so for effect.

“Unfortunately, your position was included in our budget cuts. We want to assure you that it had nothing to do with you personally or your job performance…”

At that moment it felt like someone had injected me with 50mg of heroin. I have never tried heroin, but I was sure the euphoric feeling that I was experiencing could only be brought on by some sort of intravenous drug.

Did I really just get laid off? It felt so surreal; I was in a lucid state of mind. It felt like I was strung out on some phantom drugs that had been administered to me one after another. On top of heroin, it was like adding psychedelic mushrooms to the mix, another drug that I have also never experienced. In case you’re keeping count, I don’t really do drugs, I can only imagine.

I tried to keep my composure, and even managed to well up my eyes a little. “I just want to thank you for the opportunity that you have given me, as a student straight out of college…” I’m pretty sure I added some other shit in there to fluff my goodbye, just to ensure that I didn’t burn any bridges. The meeting was coming to an end, and as I made my way out of the office, I could see that my supervisor really was crying a little. It made me want to give him some of the metaphorical ’shrooms I was tripping out on.

Once I was out of the office and plain view of my soon to be ex-coworkers, I began to attempt to understand what had just happened. I was just laid off from a job that I really hated. That much I knew.

bringin’ it back to 1997.

Somehow I manage to lose my scarf every year. I was thinking about getting the scarf that I mentioned in one of my previous posts, but it was way too expensive and cool for my liking.

And seeing as how I’m always losing my scarves, it wouldn’t be very hobo of me to buy a $42 scarf.

Cue in Old Navy. I saw a commercial advertising scarves for the $1 buc suc on Saturday. Sucwidit! After searching my apartment high and low for $1.09 (tax in CA), I finally came up with the funds to buy a scarf.

I knew that all of the other frugal hobos in the South Bay would be flocking to Old Navy, so I woke up bright and early and rode out to Valley Fair. I ended up picking some muted classic colors, so it would be hard to tell that I got my scarves from Old Navy. If anyone asks, I got them from a less embarrassing store, like Hollister… the outlet.

If you are into hip hop or just art in general, you might want to check out Bret Kranak. His work is in the P2 space at Works right now. This dude’s work is effin sick, and he is still humble as a mother. And can you believe that it’s his first show ever?

While you’re there, check out my piece too. It’s coming down soon.

write about what you talk about.

If you didn’t already know, November is national novel writing month. Meaning you have 30 days to complete a 50,000 word book. There is actually a website where you can sign up for the literary extravaganza.

Writing a book seems like a fun and challenging thing to do. Writing one in 30 days seems like more of a challenge than actually being fun. But what the heck, I have time. I’m going to change the rules a bit for myself, and ignore the 30 day time limit.

Over the past couple of years I think I have changed from a miserable person to a generally happy person. My views on life have changed drastically, and my life has improved dramatically. I’m still looking for a lot of answers, but now I am learning to enjoy the journey of finding those answers.

So that is going to be the topic of my book, how I went from a miserable corporate wanker to a happy hobo extraordinaire.

I’m always talking about “quality of life” with friends, but I probably talk to Jabari and Carolyn the most about it. Jabari and I were once stuck in the rat race of the corporate world, but are no longer. Carolyn used to work at a job where she wanted to walk out on, but now has found her real passion. Needless to say we have a lot in common.

I’m also a really good friend, it was Carolyn’s birthday the other day so she supplied the cupcakes and I ate them. But I digress.

Well, I started on my book already, and I am hoping that I have the willpower to finish it. It’ll probably end up being some sort of stream of consciousness bull but whatever. Only time will tell.

make money, lose money.

My childhood friend from the Pacific Northwest came down to visit, so I had dinner with him on Sunday night. Tim-o-tee was coming up on his one year marriage anniversary. It was good to see that everything was going really well for him.

I think he realized how much of a hobo I was so he paid for dinner even though I threatened him that I would no longer be his bff if he paid. He obviously didn’t care about our friendship because he pulled out his American Express black card without hesitation.

Haha thanks Tim! I even got the leftovers.

Remember those “riding jeans” I was trying to sell at the swap meet a couple weeks back? Well I threw those bad boys on eBay and sold those babies along with some other crap I had. Looks like there are some other chubby bastards out there cuz they sold.

I totally forgot to use my own packaging, so I ended up shipping via Priority Mail; blowing my whole margin of profit. Suc.

a peanutbutter packed weekend.

Don’t wait until the last minute to get your Halloween ’stume together. I went all over San Jose the day of just to get my stupid ensemble together.

After getting all my supplies I rushed over to the shop for the alleycat. A good amount of people showed up, considering all the other races/events going on in the Bay.

While we were waiting for people to register, the topic of blogs came up. JP, Jared and I were saying how everyone has a blog now. Which is literally true.

I looked into it, and I found out that my blog has it’s own blog. And in it’s blog it talks sh*t about my blog. Can you believe it? The suc??!?? Linky. I’m about to slap my blog.

In any case, the race, Ghoul Sprints and Halloween party at Darin’s was sick. I think I just wandered around the entire night, and I tried to make it rain from the balcony onto the dance floor but failed.

another day in hobo heaven.

Pavel and Sarah had an extra spot for me to visit the Anchor Steam Brewery in San Francisco. Being the hobo that I am, I gladly accepted. Five of us were able to comfortably fit into Sarah’s Fit.

We knew it was going to be a long day, with plenty of beer, so we had to line our stomach’s with something scrumdilioucious. Millbrae Pancake House was on the way; anytime is a good time for pancakes.

After breakfast/lunch we hit up the brewery, no iPhone needed, as we just followed the scent of the fermented yeast. Did I learn anything? Yes, hops are just an additive for taste, adding bitterness to offset the sweetness in beers. Time to get suc.

Once the tour was over, the guide gave us a taste of all of the beers that they brewed. If you’re counting the time, that was six beers before 1230pm. Talk about suc.

Since we were already in the city, we decided to stick around to do some exploring. One of the spots we stopped by was Bean Bag cafe, which is misleading because there were no beanbag chairs. They did offer blueberry french toast, which we all devoured; but it was mostly me.

The cool thing about the little excursion was catching up with everyone and talking about life. All of us at one point had corporate jobs, and eventually either got laid off or quit. Julia, Marc, Sarah and I definitely did not like the corporate rat race. Pavel’s nickname is corporate p, so yeah you do the math. But now look, we’re all “growed up,” enjoying some binge drinking at 11am, and savoring blueberry french toast mid-afternoon. Cheers to life.

douhudoduoduododo..Whatever happened to predictability..the milkman..the paperboy..evening tv..

weener ride.

team north face ridaaaazzz.

Ryan organized a North Face ride which started from Valley Fair mall to Los Gatos and back. It wasn’t heavily advertised, so only a small number of riders came out.

That didn’t stop us from getting a quick little ride in just before sunset. When we got back to the store, we had a box and a half of lukewarm pizza waiting for us. North Face really takes care of you.

I know I always say this, but it is worth reiterating. I love love love free swag. Not only did we get free North Face water bottles, but there was water inside of them too…haha no they gave us gift cards! Everyone received a $25 giftcard except for me. I won the raffle and got a $50 card! Suc!!!!

I’m not sure what I’m going to do with it yet, but rest assured it will be put to good use. Here’s the group after all of the freebie shenanigans. Thanks Ryan!

mos def at voodoo.

Went to go see Mos Def perform last night. It’s times like these when I wish I did have a point and shoot.

Mos Def put on a really good show, but he also seemed to remain super humble as well. When everyone was shouting for an encore, he came back and was thanking the crowd throughout his final few songs.

Good to see fame doesn’t go straight to some peoples’ heads.

stuff that scarf.

I saw this on BLTD

Just how smart is this scarf? Instead of cramming your keys, phone, cash, etc. into your pockets this winter, you can get this scarf and have your valuables safe and close at hand. No more worrying about those precious items falling into the hands of pickpockets or out of your jacket when you put it on or take it off.

Last winter, Kristen and Sarah were at a club in downtown New York…The coat check was expensive and the dance floor was hot and sweaty, so Kristen stashed her jacket in a dark corner somewhere in the vicinity of the DJ booth, praying nothing would be stolen out of the pockets, while Sarah kept accidentally whacking people on the dance floor with her gigantic purse. Determined to avoid this in the future, Kristen designed a scarf that functioned as a small tote so that someone could shed his or her coat or bag but still keep valuable items safe and close. Thus, the Julian Scarf was born.

- lightweight 100% rodeo cotton flannel outershell
- water resistant 100% nylon ripstop pockets
- subtle and vivid pocket options for each pattern

8″H 80″W (Pockets: 7″D 7″W)

Perfect for stashing my weed…cuz after I do my gardening I never have a place to keep the trimmings.

all hallows eve.

hihihihihihihihihihi.

Sorry for the lack of updates. You would think it was because I was super busy, or because I was on some super amazing blowout trip. Not the case. Just lazy.

Case in Theory played at the Blank Club in the middle of the week, and it was good to see them playing. They had new songs which were pretty sick.

Finally saw Quicksilver on Thursday night for free at Camera 12. The SJBC is hosting a monthly bike movie for free with prizes and everything. Quicksilver is soooo sick because it stars “Larry Fishbourne” and in a way sums up my life. Definitely sucwiddable. Gonna snag that DVD.

The iMD/SJF swap meet was earlier today, and it was a good time. There was a good amount of people who showed up. My total net earnings was -$3. Don’t ask me how that happened. Oh yeah because I came up on a brand new Castelli beanie for the $5 buc suc.

I gotta say I was a little disappointed with people at the meet. I brought my “riding jeans” to sell, but nobody took. Guess my jeans were too baggy for the hipsters with 1.2% body fat. Yea so I’m curvy, I like myself that way!

This is me after my first and only sale.

Nhan brought his dog out to the park. It’s rare to see a Vietnamese dog that is still alive. Suc!

that can’t be good.

Apparently natural gas has infiltrated the natural groundwater supply in some parts of the nation.

I don’t think any of us have to worry about it, but it’s scary to think that something like this can actually happen.

get your swag on.

I went up to Berkeley on Sunday with Jabari to get some climbing on at Mortar Rock. ‘Cept for the fact that I didn’t climb because I ended up returning my La Sportiva’s for a bill. Yee.

The main reason we went up was because there was a gear testing demo called Tromp in Berkeley. Big names such as the North Face and Vasque were there to show off their Goretex shoes.

They had a little obstacle course complete with a creek, hills, water, and rocks. It was crazy to see how well Goretex actually works, as you could submerge your whole foot in water and still remain dry.

One of the best things about these events is the free swag. I got my hobo on alright. Free food, drank, and other little nifty gifties.

what’s in your toolbag?

You will inevitably encounter some sort of bicycle failure at one time or another. That’s why you need to be equipped with the right tools to handle these failures.

Flat tires are something that can happen on a regular basis. Chain derailments can occur from time to time. Loose bolts might need to be re-tightened on the fly. Those are just a few things that can go wrong while you’re on the road.

Below is a list of 10 items that should be in your hip bag/fanny pack/toolkit/saddlebag/etc. I added a few things that might not be considered “necessities” per say, but also won’t weigh you down too much either.

1. Extra tube- Carry at least one of each size tire that you are currently riding. For example if you’re running a 650 in front and 700 in the rear, have two tubes; one in each size.

2. U-lock key- If you lose your main set of keys, it would be double suc to lose your bike due to the fact that you can’t unlock it.

3. 15mm or adjustable wrench- To use for taking off your wheel and other parts.

4. Handpump or CO2- Your brand new tube will be worthless if you can’t pump it up.

5. Multi-tool- Allens, screwdrivers, bottle openers, etc.; it’s a tool with multiple uses.

6. Tweezers- These come in handy when there is a tiny little piece of glass that you can’t get out with your fingers.

7. Cash- It’s always good to have a few extra dollars, which can be used to purchase goods or plug a hole in your tire.

8. Patches- Once you find out where and what caused the puncture, you can patch up your tube.

9. Bandages/Wetnap- Cuts and scrapes come with the territory when it comes to biking.

10. Tire levers- You will hate life without these. Makes taking off most tires a cinch.

There’s no hard and fast rule about what goes in a bike tool bag. These are just the items that I keep in my bag.

Do you hate these suggestions? Hate me? Have suggestions of your own? Comment, because we would love to hear them.

-ah

how to lock up.

I’m going to start re-blogging some of the articles I write for iMINUSD on my blog. Hopefully you will find them interesting.
————————
A lot of people come into the shop asking questions about the proper way to lock up a bike. This post is just about locking your wheels and frame.

If you were to own just one lock, it should be a U-lock. They’re quite sturdy, and can easily be thrown in your back pocket or backpack. Heavy duty chains are also excellent choices, but they can be a bit more cumbersome.

The thing to remember when locking up is that your lock is only as strong as its weakest point. For instance, if you have an unbreakable lock securing your bike to a thin wood post, your lock would prove worthless. All the thieves would have to do is snap the wood and take your bike.

The Sheldon Brown (RIP) method of locking up is one of the most popular and secure ways to lock up your frame and rear wheel. You lock your rear wheel with a U-lock to an immovable object through the rear triangle. There is no way you can steal the bike without busting the lock and/or rear wheel.

If you treasure your front wheel more, you can lock your wheel and frame to an immovable object as such:

The best way to lock up is to have multiple locks. If you have a cable along with a U-lock, you can loop the cable through a wheel and secure it with a U-lock; just make sure the frame is also locked.

The best way to protect your bike from thieves is to have it by your side at all times. But that is obviously unrealistic.

So when you do have to lock up, make sure it is a place where you can keep an eye on it. It is generally not a good idea to lock up at a movie theater, while watching The Watchmen. You’re giving thieves 3 hours to steal your bike.

Don’t lock up your bike at the same time and place on a daily basis. You wouldn’t take your girlfriend to P.F Chang’s at 12 in the afternoon every Tuesday and Thursday would you? Yeah, treat your bike like your girlfriend..only better. Switch things up so thieves don’t know your schedule.

Remember these tips are just for when you need to lock up for a short period of time. All a thief needs are tools and time. Ride safe and stay vigilant.

-ah

he hype me.

Alright my current obsessions:

One of my favorite bands in the whole wide world: From Monument to Masses.  I was a little late getting their latest album which was released before summer.  Ok, I was a lot late.

Sigh, guilty as charged.  I’ve been listening to Ladyhawke too.  But her sappy lyrics are quite hilarious, and it encourages subtle foot tapping.  That’s a good thing.

And of course my Dodgers won today.  Look at Chan Ho Park.  Just look at him.  Oh Chan Ho Park.  Chan Ho Park why do you lay on the grass that way.  Get up off that grass Chan Ho Park.  Chan Ho Park the inning is not over.  You still need to make some pitches Chan Ho Park.  You make me laugh so hard Chan Ho Park.

a monday night..

in the form of conversations (via text, phone and real life) within a time span of about 30 minutes:

Alex:  Hey, I have an extra ticket for Passion Pit tonight if you want to go.  Hit me.

Me:  How much and when?

Alex:  Actually they have tickets at the door now for $10.  Hurry, there’s a line.

Me:  Is it worth it?

__________________________________

Matt:  Suc, what you up to.  I’m downtown.

Me:  Passion Pit is playing at the Blank Club tonight, you want to sucwidit?

Matt:  Yeah, I wanted to go, but I heard tickets are sold out.

Me:  I just got word that they’re selling tickets at the door for the 10 buc suc.

Matt:  Let’s go.  Now.

_____________________________________

Me:  Do you have any tickets left?

Doorperson:  I think I still have a couple of tickets.

Matt:  Perfect, we just need two tickets.

Doorperson:  Ok..  That’s $20.

All:  Suc!!!!!

Not bad for a band that I wasn’t even that familiar with.  And to answer the question, yes it was worth it.

If you don’t know Passion Pit, the lead singer sings in this falsetto that would put Daniel Bedingfield on helium to shame.

am i a bad person..

for despising Skechers tennis shoes?  There is just something about these shoes that disgust me to my very core.  I literally shudder everytime I even think about them.

Yeah, there are bigger problems in the world than just people who wear Skechers.  Or are there?  THIS IS A HUGE PROBLEM.  An epidemic of grand proportions.

Instead of Zombieland, what if there was Skechersland, where everybody was running around wearing those hideous shoes.  Does this not scare you???  This is my worst nightmare.

Actually my worst nightmare is going into my closet to put on my Vans, only to find nothing but Skechers shoes.  Nooooo.  I would never wish that upon anyone; not even my worst enemy.

This is the end of the world peoples.  Say goodbye to your Uggs and Crocs.  Welcome to Skechersland.

a word on michael crabc*ck.

But first, I want to congratulate my Dodgers on clinching the NL west.  Can’t wait ’til the playoffs.

Now on to Michael Crabtree, the 49ers first round pick from this year’s draft.

<rant>

Looks like he’s ready to negotiate a contract deal so he can jump on the Niners’ 3-1 bandwagon.  I don’t give two flying effs.  His love for the game is obviously not as great as his love for money.

This guy hasn’t even played a single down in the NFL, and he is demanding more money than most veterans.  And I was afraid that the new crop of NFL prospects were going to be greedy.  You have to work to earn your money, and more importantly, work to earn respect.

At this point I don’t really care if he gets signed or not.  I would rather have a few 3rd rounders with a “team first” mentality than a c*cksuck who thinks he is bigger than the team.

I remember last season some friends and I were at the game in which Vernon Davis was kicked out by coach Mike Singletary.  Davis has since changed his ways, and has been elevated to team captain.  Learn from him Crabcakes.

</rant>

And this can be applied to real life too, not just the NFL.